13 Slays Till Xmas
‘Tis the season to be jolly, but there is little mirth among the unhappy men who sit at the bar in rural Owensboro, Kentucky, writer Carl, teacher Ben, policeman Red, seasonal Santa Tobe and the priest, served by Willow who would rather nothing more than the boys finish up and leave for the night, yet they insist on telling each other scary stories on Christmas Eve to pass the time rather than discussing why they have come together.
A tradition of chills on a winter night to keep the blood flowing and encouraging people to be better to each other, to cherish what they have, Carl suggests that whoever is deemed to have told the worst picks up the bar tab, but while they all know each other they are not happy to be keeping company on this night, Ben suggesting it is an opportunity to dig up some old ghosts…
A seasonal horror anthology, 13 Slays Till Xmas actually contains fourteen stories including the frame, Digging Up the Ghost, written and directed by P J Starks, originator of the premise, with David E McMahon, Kevin Roach, Christopher Bower, Joshua Cornelius and Jay Woolston as the patrons, Katie Stewart as barkeep Willow and Alyssa Evelyn Rhoads as the latecomer who provides the punchline.
Like a series of randomly selected gifts from the corner shop on the panicked stop to the office party, the selection is a mixed bag of generic offerings of low quality, emulating name brands with an opening title selection of grim newspaper clippings with bylines credited to Aster, Holland, Hooper and Murnau with later segments referencing Bava, Carpenter, Cunningham and Fulci, but any hopes exceeding realisation.
Pre-credit Deard Santa seemingly a trailer without any payoff, through Like a Family, The Devil’s Due, One More Gift, Kringles the Christmas Clown, Santa Claws, The Scarionette and Jingle Bellz the story is almost the same, poorly phrased wishes, mysterious overdue debts, sinister presents, something nasty in the loft or basement, characters coming to their bloody fates with clockwork regularity and little imagination, It’s a Wonderful Death and Dead Air at least attempting to find something different in the decoration box.
With only Don’t Kill Santa on Christmas, A Christmas to Dismember and The Killer Caribou standing out, written and directed by Sean Blevins, Alex Clark and John Hale respectively, these at least have fun with the premise even if they are not radical reinventions, making the best of the bargain basement effects and costumes more suited to a Hallowe’en party, bright sparks among a disappointing assortment which cannot compete with the classics, Black Christmas, Silent Night, Deadly Night or Secret Santa.
13 Slays Till Xmas is streaming on the Arrow platform now
