Blood Theatre
Avaricious and acquisitive, Dean Murdock has just bought his eleventh theatre in the San Fernando Valley for the Spotlite Theatre chain, his intention not to convert the building into a multiplex but to operate it as a single-screen cinema, his three reliable employees seconded to restore the building and run it with a cash bonus on offer if they can make their opening night a success, Malcolm, Adrian, serving as manager and projectionist, and his girlfriend Jennifer.
Murdock having made his money running low-budget exploitation flicks such as Chainsaw Chicks, Amputee Hookers and Clown Whores of Hollywood as well as running pirated copies of more prestigious titles, what is known only to him and his executive assistant Miss Blackwell is that the theatre has a history of opening under multiple owners then closing just as swiftly after mysterious deaths which occur so frequently they now seem inevitable.
The credits stating that Blood Theatre was written, directed, produced, edited and photographed by Rick Sloane who also makes contributions to the soundtrack, such as it is, that is perhaps to be taken less as a boast and more as a warning, the 1984 debut feature from the man who would four years later make Hobgoblins and in many ways worse than that derided offering where the conspicuous incompetence at least has pace, this film thirteen minutes shorter yet feeling longer.
Largely filmed in the Beverly Warner Theatre, now demolished, with close-framed static shots of the cast rolling their eyes and delivering single lines before cutting, “the pride of Beverly Hills” is never presented as magnificently as it should be, what might have been the star of the show a disregarded backdrop to the juvenile shenanigans of squabbling workshy usherettes Selena and Darcy (Joanna Foxx and Stephanie Dillard), shuffling about like resentful teenagers asked to help with the housework rather than paid employees.
With Jenny Cunningham starring as both Jennifer in the present and Ellen in a flashback to the previous closing night tragedy of a stampede when a fire broke out, no connection is drawn between the characters, nor is the nature of the troubles explored, the character listed as “original owner” played by David Milbern in his youth and Jonathan Blakely in the present but never clear if he is an apparition or a real individual haunting the premises and killing those who offend his sensibilities, while slamming doors and random fires indicate a poltergeist.
The unnatural dialogue leaving the cast struggling to bring any colour to their characters, Rob-Roy’s Murdock is invariably odious while Andrew Corfin and Daniel Schafer are blandly earnest as Adrian and Malcolm, and although Night of the Comet’s Mary Woronov is by far the best thing in Blood Theatre she is wasted in the surly role of Miss Blackwell, removed from the action and the tepid kills where victims standing limp as they wait for the killer to step into frame and stab or strangle them, even death by popcorn popper failing to be either horrifying or hilarious.
Blood Theatre will be streaming on the Arrow platform from Friday 21st March
